Loss

I knew one day I would experience what everyone else has. What I didn’t expect was the suddenness of it all. The weirdness of the procedure…the sense of calm one feels…I brought a bottle of Bacardi Gold and it’s close to half way…I’ve had moments of sudden sadness overcome me but yet I feel “happy”….”fine”…"everything will be okay"….life is about celebration and love….we have to tell each other we love each other more and more….the last time I saw my grandfather was 10 years ago…I was 21…young and bright eye…I thought I would have gone back to Guatemala by now but that wasn’t the case….I am sorry Papi, you didn’t get to meet Charlotte in person but I am glad seeing her in photo brought you much joy….my mom misses you terribly…she felt you…she heard you, viejo….My you be in peace where ever you are….may your soul rest and not wonder….may you guide us grandchildren in dealing with your children, papi…the pattern was there….guide us grandpa…protect us like you always had….we love you…I love you…you were my father and I am sorry I didn’t get to see you one last time…I will never forgive myself for that…..May your soul rest in peace…I light a candle in your memory….I will drink this shot in your memory….I will cry many more tears in the days and months to come…this birthday and Christmas will be a sad one….I LOVE YOU I LOVE YOU I LOVE YOU I LOVE YOU I LOVE YOU I LOVE YOU I LOVE YOU…..
May your soul rest in peace, Papi Meme 12/25/25-11/30/11

Holiday Cheer

Next, week is Thanksgiving and I am all a flutter. It will be my very FIRST Thanksgiving with just MY family. Which means just Charlotte and Gil. My sister and mom will be spending the day with my sister’s boyfriend’s family. My mom is so nervous about it but I keep telling her she will be, “OKAY! Just have fun, Ma”! I have my whole Thanksgiving menu picked out, just gotta go shopping this Monday coming.

I know I haven’t update my blog in a bit but I have been so busy with school and with everyday living; I just haven’t had the time. Tonight, I will be making a meatloaf for dinner with mashed potatoes and gravy. Next, Thursday I will take pictures of the feast I prepare for the day and give you all the recipes.

Christmas is right around the corner and I already got some decorations. I am so looking forward to this Christmas; Charlotte gets to open her presents all on her own this year. This is very exciting for me!!! We are thinking of getting her a oven and some crayons!!! Here is a picture of the color scheme for my Christmas decoration endeavors

Gil said I could go crazy decorating this year Pictures to come once I have everything decorated. Hopefully, Bergenline will have the real trees on the sidewalks after Thanksgiving. I can’t wait to see Charlotte’s expression when she sees everything

Is Love A Choice or A Decision?

So, on Saturday for my Public Speaking class I had to do a demonstration speech. I taught the class to play 13 Up but before it was my turn one of my fellow classmates presented her speech. She had two poster boards. The one poster board had a figure on it intact while the other one had the figure in different pieces. Very symbolic by the way. She starts her speech by saying "Love is a decision not a choice". She explained to the class we have to start with valuing ourselves before anyone else can. She mentioned how she was in a relationship that was going nowhere fast. The boy was verbally abusive and mistreated her constantly. She said one day she woke up and asked herself why was she letting this happen and up and left him. Smart girl, she got herself out of it. She went on to say more stuff to validate her point and it made sense. It was time now to ask her questions. So, I asked her why she thought love was decision not a choice? She said because you can decide whether or not you will fall in love with the person you just met but knowing some things about them. I disagreed thoroughly. I mentioned to her how I watched a documentary about 5 to 6 years ago on love and it's been proven love is really not a choice. It's all about chemistry. The left side of your brain actually shuts down when you are in love...hence the term love is blind. Women who have children are blinded by their love for their children. This why some kids are horrible and the parents will sit there and tell you, "No, my Jimmy is a good boy", mind you Jimmy is the school bully. Anyways, apparently we give off a smell that attracts the people we attract. Once this happens our chemistry goes haywire. You fall in love and for 2 years you are madly in love. Then something happens...your brain wakes up! You start seeing the person you are in love with in a different light and this is where the trouble comes in. Before, you saw this person as beautiful and all knowing; now you see them as something else. The scientists doing the experiment at one point took pictures of the couples and distorted some of the pictures and only one picture was what the person actually looked like. Well, for those who were recently in love chose the "nicer" looking picture of their partner. The ones who were no longer in love, chose the uglier of the pictures, and the oldest couple there chose the actual pictures of their partner that was not distorted at all. They asked the older couple who been married over 30 years what their secret was and they said once the love starts to vanish you have to actually work at your relationship. That's when the real love comes in and gets proven. This is where the 2 year itch comes in. Couples break up and marriages go to shit after this point. The couple basically were like if you can't see past all their faults you didn't see before you fall in love then you will never be happy with anyone. Love takes time and effort. It's not a choice or decision; it is a feeling that over takes oneself and it blinds us for a couple of years but if you really see the person you are with as worth it, well then prove that they are worth something to you. Everyone falls in love at one point or another its a matter of you not being selfish and righteous but of being willing to share in this new feeling you have. Love will always blind you, if it didn't then of course we would be "falling in love" with every person we laid eyes on. Don't you think?

November’s Horoscopes

 

Quantum Tarot was used for this month’s horoscopes.

 

Aries: You are coming to an understanding of your surroundings. Enlightenment is going to be a major theme for you this month. Try to put that sharp mind of yours into learning new things. Your comprehension skills this month will not allow you to be confused. Approaching things in a different matter will work wonders for you. Gather all your information and presented in the best way you can. Trust in the fact that you do know what you are talking about.

Taurus: This month brings everything into full circle. Go forth with what you have envisioned. There is no stopping you. Money will be a main focus this month. Saving money will be hard; it will come and go this month. New people will be pooping up this month. Everyone wants to hang with you, take advantage of it!!! With new people comes new opportunities.

Gemini: Caution is the word for the month, dear Gemini. Observation and strategic planning is required of you. There might be someone amongst your circle with under handing intentions. Don’t let them catch you off guard…..or is it your twin who is in devious mode this month? This is the month for many surprises, some bad but some will also be very pleasant, indeed.

Cancer: This month has you benefiting from all your hard work. The universe is shining down on you. When one does good deeds, good deed are return 7 times fold. Sit back and bask in all your glory. Don’t be surprise if you come into extra money also this month.

Leo: It’s time to stop going in circles, Leo. Take control of your fate, destiny, and life. Stop letting circumstances dictated your every move. How are you suppose to move forward if you let bad situations get chaotic? Why, not take a bad situation and learn from it? Don’t be a victim of circumstances and cry, “Woe is me”! You are a fire sign whose ruling planet is the Sun. Like the sun you are a force to be a reckon with. Do what you must to get on ahead.

Virgo: Money, money, and more money is your focus. How to make more and how to save the money you already have safe. Yes, money solves a lot of problems and it does buy happiness….for a moment. Money is NOT your problem. Money comes and goes, as do people who only care about what others can give them. Take a look at those who surround you. Whose really there for you? The people who owe you money should be contacted this month before Christmas arrives. Don’t you want to get that special someone a grand gift for Christmas? How about that new shiny thing that captured your interest? Hmm?

Libra: This month focuses on your emotional well being. Are you expressing yourself or bottling everything up inside? Are you being honest with your feelings? Are your feelings being overlooked by others? You can’t expect others to guess how you feel if you yourself don’t know. Balance yourself!!! Express what you are feeling. Mediate, take long baths, but above all else stop letting others step all over your heart!!!

Scorpio: What’s the rush? Are you going over everything like you are suppose to? Are people moving to slowly for you? Maybe it’s the fact that you are on high speed. If you don’t take your time you will miss out on all the opportunities the cosmos are offering you this month. Patience and diligence are things to remember. Take a deep breath and start all over again. You might notice a money error on your part…

Sagittarius: November promises to be a good month. Ideas & projects should be established or well on their way into fruition. Don’t let distractions over come you this month. Finish what you started months ago. You have it in you to make beneficial outcomes happen. If you give up or stop paying attention to the help being offered, you will see everything you worked on disappear before your eyes. Charm, eloquence, and patience will get you far. It also helps you are looking the part! How can anyone deny you!!

Capricorn: You will be reborn this month. You will rise from the ashes sort to speak. Not only smarter but wiser and with a new found self awareness. This new perspective will have you smiling from ear to ear. Everyone will notice and will want to know what your secret is. Don’t give it away. Remember you are a cardinal sign, a natural born leader, with the wisdom the other 3 cardinal signs lack. Something's are best left unsaid. Instead, let them follow and discover on their own what you already know.

Aquarius: Do be careful on how you communicate this month. People are easily offended and trying to right your wrongs will only make it worse. The fact that Mercury will be in retrograde this month will not help your case. Some might even see you as gossipy and misleading; make sure you have your facts straight before engaging in dialogue with anyone this month. Your headaches will become migraines if you aren’t careful with your words.

Pisces: The time has come to retreat in your own little abode. Quiet reflection is needed. To many swimmers in your waters lately. The ripples are forming a huge tidal wave; with promises of engulfing everyone with its crystal blue water. Emotions and miscommunication will be running high this month. Nobody seems to be listening correctly and misunderstandings are taking place everywhere. I suggest getting a nice bottle of scotch, putting on a blue ray, turning off all the lights, leaving your cell phone 2 rooms away from you, and just enjoy the peace and quiet your sweet humble abode brings you. Let everyone run crazy with their emotions; you can’t always be there to explain what they are feeling? You got better things to go on with…like that bottle of scotch

 

HAPPY BIRTH SCORPIO

3 Day Meals

I woke up today in a good mood. Caught my cats sleeping on one kitchen chair and futon >_<   Once Charlotte was placed on the floor she had free reign over them   I have 3 recipes I made over the weekend. I did not cook last night, I just did not feel like it, plus there were plenty of leftover food from the weekend.

On Friday Gil wanted raviolis again. I made cheese raviolis with ham & sausage & white sauce.

 It was extremely filling. The raviolis were store brought, just follow directions on the bag to cook them up. I used one sausage link, removed it from it’s casing, and broke apart the sausage. One piece of steak ham cut up into small pieces. I cooked the ham and sausage on medium heat set it to the side. The white sauce you need butter, flour, and milk. Tossed everything in the sauce and served it. It was so good.

On Saturday I made something healthy. Stuffed chicken with ricotta and spinach. Here is the recipes I used Stuffed Chicken with ricotta & spinach.   I didn’t make a red sauce for it. What I did is I used the left over stuffing and added butter, flour, and milk to thicken it up in a saucepan over medium heat. I poured it on the top of the chicken and baked it for 45 minutes. At first my flame was to high and as result some of the cheese turned brown but it was a great healthy meal. Addy loved it and Gil did not complain, he enjoyed it very much as well.

On Sunday I made picadillo with brown rice and black beans. What you need is ground beef, olives, the juice of the olives, and potatoes. Cut the potatoes as small as you can and heat them with extra virgin olive oil over medium heat and then add the ground beef cook until it’s brown, add some olives, and some juice from the bottle of olives(just enough to give it flavoring. The brown rice took longer then white rice to cook. In order to get it fluffy I used 2 1/2 cups of water and cooked it for 45 minutes. I always buy the beans in the can. Only once did I buy the bag of beans and the result wasn’t so good. So, can brought beans are easier to make. Just add onion, garlic, and green pepper finely chopped, let it cook for a few minutes over medium heat using extra virgin olive oil. Add your beans and cover for about 10 to 15 minutes depending on how thick you want the juice the beans. Surprising, enough the brown rice was great! The meal was awesome!

Tonight, I am thinking of making lasagna rolls since I still have ricotta left over. Until next time!

Happy eating!

Thursday Night Dinner

Tonight will be my first blog post of the recipes I find online. I have come to realize I LOVE cooking. I never really enjoyed it when I was younger and as a result my food always tasted bad. Tonight I made Tortellini Casserole.


I didn’t have some of the ingredients for the recipe. I substituted with what I did have. I used half & half and flour to make the sauce, tortellini cheese, and salted butter. When you use salted butter there’s no need to add more salt for flavoring. I served it with Texas toast.

The end result My better half woke up from his nap, walked straight into the kitchen saying, “FOOD! The smell woke me up”, with fork in hand and tortellini in mouth .

Happy eating everyone!

Routine

It's a cool Wednesday night with the occasional rain drop heard outside. My daughter has been sleeping for a little more than an hour now. The other half has been lost into the world of Black Ops for about 2 hours now. G chat is on and Facebook is of course open with a new update. 

Life as I know it has become routine not boring but routine. I plan my day as soon as I sit down with my cup of coffee. I inform Charlotte of my plans and I of course ask her opinion. She always smiles and replies in baby talk. Once the plans have been laid out I commence to fuck off on Facebook. I read the latest article, the latest news that just happen 5 seconds ago, I post comments, I inform Facebook of my status(as if people really cared) I make sure to check on my sim's happiness and fulfill all her wants for the day. 

Once in awhile I remember I have a Twitter account. By this time an hour has passed and I am still fucking off checking emails and reading whatever catches my eye. Enough time has passed for my other half to awake and start getting ready. We commence on our daily routine before he leaves to work. We sit outside waiting on his bus or cab ride to work. I love you's are exchanged and kisses are given. 2 p.m. and Charlotte is down for a nap. I might as well join her. 4:30 p.m. nap time is over. It's time to play or go out for a stroll in the neighborhood. 

Today was also the day I was suppose to cut back on my smoking. This has been an on going process for the entire length of the summer. Smoking is part of my routine you see. My electric cigarette no longer works. I started cleaning today but was side tracked by my daughter's cuteness. Every day we learn something new and our love just keeps getting bigger and bigger. Photos of her are snapped and exchanged with family. It's almost dinner time and I haven't even looked at my school books.

Charlotte is bathed and down for the night. Dinner is being made while my cats are looking on voicing their want for their food. Gil is home and Zeus is over run with happiness. Murphy is waiting her turned to be pet meanwhile Zeus just finished dinner for the both of them. Poor Murphy always left wanting. She won't be seen for another hour or so. Zeus on the other hand has claimed Gil's lap as his own. 

3 a.m. got some homework done. Now, if only I could remember what it was I had planned for the day. I should go to Staples tomorrow and buy a white board to keep track of my plans. But knowing myself well I will walk out with a printer instead of the white board. I should see how my friends are tomorrow and try to plan something with them. Maybe this time I will see my plan through. I also have to do research on Adult Add, maybe I will find a way of keep tracking of everything. 

4:30 a.m. laying bed, exhausted, and with a new understanding on my ADD, why I so obsessively plan everything and erupt when things don't go accordingly. I see why I do the things that I do. 

Goodnight :-D

I See

I see what's before me. I saw what was behind me. I see what's beside me. Yet, I see you so clearly. My eyes can't seem to not look away. The question was simple and so was the answer, yet, it spoke volumes. I feel a need to find my blinders so as not to get distracted. I must keep my sight focus, unwavering. I see you watching me...wondering will she lose sight of what has captured her? To see is to believe and to believe is to trust. I see a many of things but I must keep moving forward. Not everything I saw before was real and if a double take I must make then let be so. I see...I see...I understand what is coming into focus. The light has made it even easier to see the beauty that is before me. I see, do you see what I see? Shall we sit and discuss it over coffee? Out in the open so all can see?

October's Horoscopes

The Mystic Dreamer Tarot was used for this month's horoscopes.


Aries: If home is where your heart lies than what seems to be the problem? A peaceful home starts with the people who live within that home. Find it in your heart to be at peace and tranquility will follow. Your creative juices will be following this month. Don't let it go to waste.


Taurus: Why aren't you practicing what you preach? People come to you for your wise words but yet your wisdom fails to apply to you. If you want people to take you seriously and believe in your words, you must lead by example and they will follow most willingly. You have the capacity to learn a lot this month please don't let this focus go to waste. Study something you have always wanted to study either on your own or by signing up to school.

Gemini: Don't give up!!! You are almost at your goal. Just a word of caution....REST...if you do not get enough sleep you will never see the end result you are striving for. A restful mind & body produces a great bounty. Sleep is your friend not your enemy!!!


Cancer: What seems to be aggravating you this month? Patience this month is not your friend. A wanderlust has taken over your being. What do you expect to find out there? Do you really think what you are looking for lies outside of your home? Don't do anything you will regret this month....

Leo: October is your month to spring into action all you have been visualizing. Opportunities are knocking on your door. News you have been hoping to hear will soon be arriving. Wake up from your slumber this Fall promises to be a good one for you :-)

Virgo: It is time to take control of your life, your dreams, your goals, and exceptions. For far to long you have given people the power to control everything that concerns you. You must speak up and not be afraid. Your logic is sound and fair. So, what if people get offend, it's time you realize not everyone associated with you is in your better interest. There seems to be a lot of toxic energy around you. Please, remove it for it has blinded you for far to long.

Libra: All sorts of people want your attention. So much so they are competing with one another. Its all fun & games until someone gets hurt. Let us hope it's not you, dear Libra. We all know how charmingly irresistible you can be. Your charm can be better used at the work place. Where competition is always on the field. Go for that promotion you will receive it!! HAPPY BIRTHDAY LIBRA!!!!!

Scorpio: It is time to let go of the past. There is nothing there for you. Please, stop going back to it. You have received your wake up call and yet you are still lingeringly. Say your goodbyes, turn around, and don't look back. Things & people from the past are there for a reason. Always remember that when in doubt. Future looks bright and tomorrow promises to be great!

Sagittarius: Is a winning an argument really that important? Yes, you are right but that does not mean you can go about being a patronising git. In order to get your point across and not have the problem resurface approach it the best way you know how. With a big beautiful smile and eloquent words that will not fall on deaf ears :-)

Capricorn: A release of emotions is being called upon on you. You have bottled up your feelings for far to long. Speak up, let it pour out. Don't be afraid, for a new cup of water is being offered. Love is an emotion two people share with each other. Love does not survive if it's only a one way street. Soul searching is a must this month. Your spirituality has been denied and oppressed, it is time to nourish them.

Aquarius: There is much to celebrate this month. Being surround by friends and family are a must. Their joyful spirits will help bring your spirits up. You need this type of energy...joyful, loving, spiritual, and peaceful. Join in on the fun you will see the wonders of it all.

Pisces: Overindulgence is the theme for you this month. Domination on others never works. Your old habits should come to in end. Feeling empty inside is never a good feeling. You know what you must do yet you sit there in your own agony. No one will help you if you don't ask and are willing to accept help. Moderation and fairness should be your focal point this month.

Sagittarius

Sagittarius the ninth zodiac sign ruled by Jupiter(Zeus). The bow & arrow is the symbol and the centaur is the representation for this sign. If your birthday lies between November 22- December 21st you are in fact a Sagittarius. You will always read how fun loving and optimistic a Sagittarius is. You will also read how they are the eternal bachelors of the zodiac, how they fear commitment or responsibilities. Ehh, doesn't everyone have those fears??? Besides, I believe Virgo is more the bachelor of the zodiac just because of how critical they are on themselves and everyone else around them. Virgos analyze everything and when I say everything I mean everything. That tends to happen when you have a quick mind. 


Now, the point to this blog is not to tell you all about Sagittarius because that would be giving all my secrets away. I don't think my fellow Sags would appreciated it to much either. Next thing I know there's 100 of them outside my door demanding who gave me the RIGHT to do such a thing. No, thank you! I am here to ask you why the centaur? Why, does he always have his bow & arrow pointing to the heavens? At times he's pointing to a target in front of him yet we don't know what it is? Why is Sagittarius the only sign that is half human and half animal? I believe I have a theory.....


I think the reason a centaur represents us is for the simple reason we would go around killing everyone. Do you know why? The Almighty Jupiter(Zeus)was a very egotistical god. He imprisoned his own father, with good reason of course, his father after all had already consumed his other siblings before him. He freed them all and he got everyone who hated his father to join him in his cause for justice! Once he finished doing what he had to do, they gambled to see who would rule over what domain, and we all know how much we love to gamble :-) As lady luck would have it Zeus(Jupiter)won the sky and he was now the new GOD who all other GODS had to listen to........ 


So, the centaur is a good choice for this zodiac sign. Being half human and half horse is a good thing, our logic outweighs our animal reactions. Even in anger we are still thinking and trust me you do not want to know what is running through our minds. Just be thankful we aren't doing what we are thinking at that moment. The only time the animal in us takes over is when we are chasing someone we are interested in or in bed...yes, I said it...all Sagittarians are animals in bed...if you are dating one and you haven't seen that side yet its because they aren't comfortable with you yet....but do trust me it's there waiting to be unleashed.....A Sagittarius is a deep thinker and will always be open to discussing anything from space to the ladies in the corner always asking for money. If there is reason and humor behind in it then there is much to discuss...... 


As far as the bow & arrow, well Sagittarius is the only one with a weapon. Just be careful...not only can we get out of hand but we are also very blunt in our way of speaking. You do not want one of those arrows pointed towards you. An archer makes sure he sees his target, follows it, and slowly but steadily aims his arrow, unleashes it with such brute force, the target lays dead not knowing where that arrow came from. Poor little guy thinking he could fuck with a Sagittarius....he will have learned his lesson when he comes to..hopefully, he comes to......


Well, folks I know I said I would post September's horoscopes but it's already the 14TH...I feel it defeats the purpose now. I do think I will make a post next of one of the other fire signs...either Aries ruled Mars(Ares)God of War<----that should basically answer all your questions about the Aries person you are dating....or Leo who is ruled by the Sun<---yes, the big star that shines brightly over ahead..........this should also give you a clue about the Leo person you are dating...


Until next time!

Nice To Meet You

It all starts with a hello & smile. 
Your body in full posture.
The breath on your lip.
The tremble of your hand.
Your heart vibrating.
Your mind reeling.
Your eyes are a dead giveaway.
Breath. 
Relax. 
Smile. 
It all started with a hello & smile.
Yet, ended with an awkward silence.
Silence that penetrates & consumes.
Perhaps, speaking the truth.
It was nice to meet you.
Until tomorrow my friend.

The Woman

I am the woman with many names
I am the woman with many faces
I am the woman who people love to hate
I am the woman who can see through you
I am the woman who holds herself back as to not offend you
I am the woman who offends all
I am the woman who tells stories
I am the woman who exaggerates 
I am the woman who people come to
I am the woman who has hope for all
I am the woman who understands people
I am the woman who knows people are human 
I am the woman who people believe she's weak
I am the woman who people turn their back on
I am the woman who at the end of the day makes her own decision
I am the woman who says I will do this and actually does it
I am the woman who stretches her hand out for people to take her whole arm
I am the woman who one day will explode
I am the woman who can create chaos
I am the woman who can create order
I am the woman who can create life
I am the woman who can make things perfect
I am the woman who can pull the wool over your eyes
I am the woman who watches & observes
I am the woman who sits quietly...contemplating....
I am the woman whose wrath can be felt by everyone
I am the woman who in the end let's it all go
I am her and I will continue to be her...not for your benefit but for my mine...I am the woman who is evolving...I am the woman who is maturing...I am the woman whose walking on her path...yes, I see your path but do you see yours? If you like I can explain to you why your path is laid before you. Open your eyes, open your mind, open your heart, and your soul will follow. 


I am Oneyda Elisa Salazar...the woman with many names & many faces........

Ancient Aliens

I am obsess with the show Ancient Aliens on the History channel. If you have not seen this show you must do so right away!!!! I've always been big on mythology ever since a teacher of mine introduce us to Greek Mythology back in Robert Fulton(she herself was Greek). I always asked if the stories were real and she used to tell me they are all mythical. I never really liked that answer and it didn't really coincide with what we were learning in History. I remember being taught in grammar school a time table; which showed you everything before BC and everything after(AD). I always loved those lessons and did very well in them. 


As I got older I would read anything that had to do with mythology just for kicks. I watched whatever was on TV. Since, I can't afford to travel I do so via the TV or books. It's obviously not the same thing but nevertheless it does the job. What I wouldn't give to go to Greece and Italy and learn everything that I can. I want to go to the places of worship to feel the energy they claim one can feel. I want to go back to Guatemala and visit all the Mayan temples. Egypt, Peru, Israel, India, and good old USA are rich with ancient history. It's just a matter of reading with an open mind and understanding our ancestors.


I brought a book a few years back and have been skimming throughout ever since; I even let a friend of mine burrow it. The book is called Mythology The Illustrated Anthology of World Myth & Story Telling; I will be reading it all over again. Since I decided on taking US History for school I will have to learn it myself on my own time all over again. My US History sucks and I need to brush up on it, I have no interest in learning it but I must. A new mythology collection is in order for my library. I lost so many books throughout my constant moving; I have to repurchase them all over again :-( 


Maybe some day in the near future I will write my own book on mythology. I will socialize with all the scholars and historians of the times. Laughing at all the religious groups out there who have come to realize we aren't special. There is no GODS or a Son of GOD but that we are all in fact divine. We all come from the cosmos left here to learn and understand where we come from. Once understanding has been reached a new form of travel will be shown and mastered to travel from galaxy to galaxy. One can only dream.....

Boredom

Boredom= when nothing you do brings you joy anymore.  I've been in my house now for almost 2 years. I got laid off once I found out I was pregnant and ever since I've been home doing the "house wife" thing. I LOVE being home with Charlotte but I really MISS working. I remember when I HATED working and all I ever did was wish to NOT be working, this why you should be careful what you wish for, you might just get it. My unemployment got extended yet again but with conditions. I MUST look for work and inform unemployment of where I went and what outcome I had; otherwise, I don't get my money for the week. I am forced to look for work and get out there to the grind. I am happy and sadden at the same time. I am happy because I might get job if I look hard enough and perhaps it will be decent job with decent pay and benefits. I am sadden because I won't be spending time with Charlotte. Yet, the way I see it is I will be able to provide for Charlotte and regain my sanity. 


I have so many plans and I want to implemented them already. I start school next month and I can't wait. I day dream about it all the time and this time around I will do what I am suppose to do. The Professors were wise to me my first semester. I was sorry to disappointment them but I promise myself this semester I will not fuck up. 


I know I will do what I have to do and I will do it well. I believe in two to three years time I will be where I want to be. I just have to be patient and believe in what I am doing and what I want to accomplish. One day at a time...one step at a time....good things always come to those who wait.

August Horoscope

I'll be using the Quantum Tarot's Major Arcana.

Aries: The wheel of fortune has taken a spin. It seems it might not stop on a favorable spot but it will once it slows down. When it comes to a full stop; you will be smiling from ear to ear. The wheel of destiny is working in your favor this month. Opportunities and luck will be by your side all month long. Some annoyances will most likely spiral out of control but always remember Aries you are in control and you’re the one spinning the wheel of fortune. 

Taurus: It's time to find your balance again. Being an extremist is not in Taurus' nature. Mediation is a must this month; once you start it; you will be aware of where balance is needed the most.  Any decisions made this month must be thought out and it must benefit you. Remember Taurus it’s all about balance in YOUR life!

Gemini: This is the month to show the world who you really are but above all how intelligent you really are!! This month will have you experiencing a transition of sorts. You will be allowing your other side to emerge; it has been too quiet for far too long.  Don’t worry; your twin will be speculator this month!

Cancer: Why haven’t you been nurturing yourself? Stop fussing over others and tend to yourself this month! Trips to the oceans would be a wonderful source of nourishment. Retreating into your home is acceptable; you deserve it. Don’t fret everyone will still be exactly where you left them last J

Leo: It is time to go forth on a new adventure this month. You are full of courage and hope this month nothing will damper your spirit! Just don’t let this blind courage lead you on a fool’s path, dear Leo.

Virgo:  This month will bring you into full awareness of all your surroundings. Nothing will escape your critical eye or that fast moving mind of yours. I will not lie to you Virgo but this month will bring awareness of the good kind and then there’s reality. You must accept this understanding and allow yourself to be enlightened further. You are a lot stronger than you think.

Libra: Change is inevitable. Life is constantly evolving. You are evolving, Libra. The past is no more, everything that has held you down as now being released, whether you like or not. As a Libra you must have equilibrium without it you cannot function. Let your scale balance itself out. You will be thankful by month’s end. Trust me.

Scorpio:  “With great power, comes great responsibility”. This is the mantra you must repeat all month Scorpio. People in power must always remember who bestowed the power to them. Do not force you might on others but sway them to your allurement. You will see how much more easily and efficiently things get done.

Sagittarius:  The universe is your oyster. It is filled with endless treasures, endless knowledge. Keep on your path of self-learning, expanding your mind will be all consuming this month. Whatever it is you want to learn will be easily attainable. Just remember to take breaks and let your mind process all the information it has retain.

Capricorn:  This is your month to shine and shine brightly you will!! You will be in perfect harmony with the universe; you will have to pinch yourself to make sure you are not dreaming. Being a realist you tend to be pessimistic at times but don’t look for the negative this month. There just isn’t any! Stand on top of your mountain and survey what you have accomplished this month.

Aquarius:  The wisdom you possess may at times come off as methodical, frigid, and calculated but it is always delivered in the best of intentions. Perhaps, sharing your wisdom could be a little more eccentric in deliverance to your audience. In this way the message is not lost in its arrival.

Pisces:  You want answers and you want them now but yet all you are getting is more questions and no answers seem to be in sight. There are times we ask questions to the wrong person when we should be in fact asking these very same questions to ourselves, Pisces. You have the answers you are looking for, stop questioning, and start listening. You will receive your answer. 

Hello

I am happy I decided on blogging my thoughts and observations. Throughout my life I have tried my best to keep a journal but I never kept up with it. I do not know  why blogging seems so much more easier for me but I am glad I found an outlet for my thoughts. I will constantly update my blog with articles and information I read and gather. It will help me come up with own theories. 


It's a big world out there and there is so much going on that we do not even know about. People are so busy on facebook, twitters, and countless other social networking sites we have lost site of what is consider the normal now a days. If you do not have a facebook, twitter, flickr, or whatever else you aren't consider hip enough to be a consideration in most human's self adsorb lives. I do not know when we as a society lost the definition of being social. This whole online communities are something to be observed. It fascinates me how we all fall victim to the seduction of social networking. Haven't you notice, everyone is a philosopher, a model, an outstanding citizen in society, a psychologist, a psychiatrist, but most importantly how needy people are on these social networking sites. 


Every picture you take must instantly be uploaded. Heaven forbid you get no comments on your picture, your world just might fall apart. You can check in now to local places your at, so, perhaps that person you like might show up to the location. Or maybe the stalker you don't know about will show up. I think by far my new favorite feature is having a group. You can select who can join your group, it's like being back in high school!! Everyone has a clique now! Everyone wants you join their group and join them all I shall. For when the time comes for I to make a group I would hope people would join.


In high school I always kept to myself and social networking sites it seems close to impossible. Everyones business is there for your watching. You can't help but read this status update and wonder what happen now? So, I literally updated my newsfeed. I quite frankly don't give a fuck about your business. Does it have to do with me? Did I make you feel that way? Do you need me to help you? Why do you need me to help you? Why should I help you? So, my newsfeed now is nothing but news going on in this world and the rest is of people who realize this is in fact a social networking site and it's simply for fun. I will always read your status updates because you aren't asking me to like your crap. I thank you for that. 


Always remember social networking sites are in fact the devil and I've been told but many that I am in fact Satan. So, perhaps you should consider asking me to like, comment, or join in any social activities ;-)